Why boundaries are important, and what weak boundaries look like.
You are NOT RESPONSIBLE for the emotional response of OTHERS.
So many times, I’ve felt unable to say ‘no’ because I was afraid of how the other person would react. "Would they feel hurt? Rejected? Angry? Would they still think highly of me?" Every time we don’t speak up, we are dishonouring ourselves, and will eventually wind up feeling drained, frustrated or angry.
Having weak boundaries might look like:
Hiding your true feelings (saying you don’t mind, when actually you’re hurting)
Pretending to agree with someone when you really disagree.
Feeling drained by someone else’s negative emotions or feelings
Going on a night out when you really don’t want, because you don’t want to let anyone down
Ignoring your own needs by always putting others first
Accepting people’s behaviour that you don’t feel comfortable with because ‘that’s just the way they are’
Feeling victimised or taken for granted (you probably haven’t been setting strong boundaries)
How a person reacts to your boundaries is not a reflection on you but a reflection on them. You are not selfish, mean or uncaring for looking after yourself. Healthy boundaries will earn you more respect from others in the long run and, more importantly, respect for yourself.
You can ONLY give to others when your OWN cup of self-care is FULL and OVERFLOWING.
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