Food, exercise and listening to my body.
I’m in a place where I never thought I would be.
I’m working with my body instead of against it.
All these years of following strict, super clean diets. Exercising every single day. Pushing my body to the absolute limit every single workout. Always striving for those chiselled, six pack abs, wishing to shrink my thighs yet fill out my boobs. Always filling the silences with podcasts, music and audiobooks. A compulsion to be productive. Always moving. Always hungry. Never satisfied. Physically and emotionally.
My diet is no longer ‘super clean’. But it is delicious. Bowls of steamed greens and tofu never seemed to fill me up, no matter how big they were. But what I’ve come to realise is that how satisfied I am is directly related to how much pleasure I get out of preparing and eating the meal. Now my salads are generously lavished in rich olive oil, sweet balsamic and handfuls of chopped nuts. I love fluffy scrambled eggs on thick sourdough bread. A few pieces of dark chocolate is absolute heaven to me. I savour each piece.
My exercise routine is no longer super strict. Remembering why I exercise in the first place- to feel slim, supple, agile and healthy- allowed me to gain perspective and realise that I didn’t need to squat 100kg and have popping biceps to achieve my fitness goals. Now, exercise is a supplement to my life. I run, sprint, do yoga, work-out in a functional, non-linear way. I don’t wake up stiff. I’m mobile and flexible. I’m mastering my own body weight.
When I look in the mirror now, I think I look beautiful. I don’t think this is down to just accepting myself more.
Here’s my theory: I think that our bodies know what we need. When we listen to them, and give them what they ask for, we experience true pleasure. Pleasure is our body saying “yep, that’s EXACTLY what I wanted.” Just like a plant that receives the right kind of nutrients from the soil, the air and the sun, a body that receives the right mix of nutrients will truly grow into something beautiful.
Pleasure makes you beautiful.