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Writer's pictureCarla Howell

Feminine energy imbalances

Updated: Aug 29, 2019

Do you know how feminine energy shows up in your life?




All women have masculine and feminine energy in side of them.


The feminine energy is: the love and the nurturing. The expression of joy and light. Beauty, softness and peace. The fun, the creativity, the spontaneity, the flow. The visionary who sees the bigger picture. The passion and the pleasure. The vulnerability and the magnetism. The yearning. The surrender. This is your queen energy.
The masculine energy is: the driver, the goal setter and the hustler. The boundary setter and the protector. The decision maker. The fighter. The discipline and the focus. The provider of protection, stability and security. The presence and consciousness. This is your warrior energy. 

When women (or men!) do not have a good connection to their feminine energy, it can manifest in two ways:


1) Wounded feminine

2) Unintegrated feminine (Heavily dominated masculine) 


So what does this look like?


Balanced feminine

  • Radiates an energy that is so powerfully beautiful, loving and soft, that others are drawn to her like a magnet. 

  • Confident in her own skin, a core of inner peace.

  • She speaks her truth from the heart, yet is respectful and honours the feelings of others. 

  • Doesn’t hold on to pain, fear, guilt, grudges or judgement. Accepts them without repressing them, but then lets them pass through.

  • Is open, receptive and trusting yet has clearly defined boundaries. Will not be walked over. Is comfortable saying ‘no’ when she needs to.

  • Brings out the best in other people, who feel they can trust and open up to her.

  • Knows that she is enough, knows her value, knows what a gift she can offer to the world.


Wounded Feminine

  • Plays the damsel in distress, looking for someone else to rescue her or to solve her problems.

  • Can be bitchy, mean and jealous about other women. Loves to gossip.

  • Does not have strong boundaries. Finds herself saying yes to things she wants to say no to.

  • Has a habit of people pleasing. Longing to be liked and accepted.

  • Has a victim mindset- feels that other people are causing her pain, rather than seeing that she has a choice in how she reacts and chooses to feel.

  • Lacks direction and focus, and has difficulty making decisions.

  • Can come across as inauthentic or shallow.

  • Lacks discipline, finds it hard to focus and follow through with projects or ideas.


Unintegrated Feminine (heavy masculine dominance)

A woman may compensate for a wounded feminine by becoming heavily dominant in her masculine energy, and not integrating her feminine.

  • Fights for herself, recognition, validation.

  • Is very controlled in her emotions and may be uncomfortable expressing intimacy (except maybe with a lover).

  • Unable to loosen up and relax. Overly restrictive and disciplined.

  • Demonstrates withdrawal or avoidant behaviour when hurt.

  • Can come across as cold, uncaring, indifferent or difficult to connect with.

  • Extremely dependent and self-reliant, and probably very successful.

  • Holds to the belief that ‘if you want something done, do it yourself.’ Does not trust that other people can meet her needs.

  • Disconnected from her body. Can’t (or won’t) listen to what it is asking for. May suffer eating disorders, very heavy or painful menstruation, bloating and digestion problems.

  • Defensive, finds it difficult to take on criticism. Feels the need to justify and defend herself.

  • May have low libido or little interest in sex and intimacy.

  • Lacks pleasure and fun in her life. She may fill this hole with food, exercise, drinking, social media, binge-watching series etc. (all numbing behaviours).


How is feminine energy showing up in your life?

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